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There are two sides to every tale – and table – so we also asked servers to share their complaints about customers.

The employees quoted here asked to be identified only by a first name or initial and city of residence, to avoid repercussions at their jobs.

Most concerns came down to tips – their main source of income. Several noted that few people understand how they are compensated .

The most detailed explanation came from T in Farmington Hills, who wrote, in part: “I must pay tips and taxes on what you spend, not what you tip. In simple terms, if your bill is $100, I owe Uncle Sam 8 percent (plus) 5 percent to the bartender (whether you drink or not) and 10 percent to 15 percent to a bus person.” Other employees may also get a cut. “If you leave $20 (on a $100 check), I get $12. If you leave $10, I have worked for free.”

The single most common server complaint focused on “camping” – guests staying at the table long after finishing, which means the employee can’t serve another party and receive another tip.

“In order for your server to make a living, your server has to turn tables,” explained Nana of Detroit. Moving to the bar – a more viable option now that they’re smoke-free – allows the server to host a new party.

Karen of Rochester Hills added that, even if the restaurant is not busy, “the server has to stay until you leave and is not getting paid anything.”

Carryout server Caitlin of Detroit wrote, “I get paid like a server gets paid, and if I don’t get tipped, I don’t make money that night.”

She also noted, “I really do want your order to come out correctly. If you have a problem, please tell me.”

Virtually every server echoed that sentiment. “Please tell us if you are not happy with your food or drinks,” Karen of Rochester Hills said. “We would much rather fix the problem than have you leave unhappy and tell others.”

Many complained, in one way or another, about society’s increasing rudeness. “What customers often don’t bring to the tables and barstools of the Detroit area (is) respect,” wrote Brian of Northville.

Other frequently mentioned issues were uncontrolled children and people who won’t stop their cell-phone conversations to place an order .

Giving your favorite college student or your elderly Uncle Fred a restaurant gift certificate or gift card for Christmas sounds like a great idea.

After all, everyone loves to eat.

But restaurant-issued gift certificates have the same pitfalls as gift cards from any other retailer: They can be worthless if the business closes.

But there’s another gift-giving option that looks appealing this year, when everyone is trying to stretch their budgets: dining discount certificates.

The best-known ones come from a Chicago company called restaurant.com. Its offers sound terrific – $50 gift certificates for $20, for example, or $25 certificates for $10 – or even $5 or less, if you catch a special. But read the fine print before you buy.

The discount certificates come with strings attached; they aren’t the same as giving someone a restaurant gift card or gift certificate.

Your recipient may have to spend several times more than you did just to use the present. And if they’re unwilling or unable to do that, your gift will be worthless to them.

To make the dining offers, the company partners with dining establishments of all sizes and types all over the country, including hundreds in southeast Michigan. Purchasers pay for the certificates online and print them out on their home computers.

Each restaurant sets its own rules for using the certificates. They have minimum purchases. Drinks usually don’t count. Some days of the week may be exempted. Certain tips may be required. And sometimes the guest has to order a certain number of entrees.

Here’s an example:

One bar offers a $25 certificate for $10, but it can only be used at dinner and guests must dine in, spend at least $45 on food – not including drinks – and order at least two entrees. The restaurant adds an 18 percednt tip to the pre-discounted bill. Adding $10 for drinks, that brings the check to a minimum of $64.90.

If you pay $10 for Uncle Fred’s $25 certificate, he’ll have to spend at least $39.90 of his own money to use it.

Some restaurants’ offers come with more restrictions.

A $25 discount certificate for one restaurant requires a $50 minimum food purchase, including two entrees, is valid only on Saturday or Sunday nights, and adds a 20 percent tip to the pre-discount amount of your bill.

Another place sets a $50 minimum, exempts Friday and Saturday, adds an 18 percent gratuity, requires you to dine in and present the certificate before you order, and accepts cash only.

Restaurant.com’s certificates do deliver what they advertise: a larger discount than the money you spend for them. But you might want to do the math before you give them as gifts.

If you’d still like to give the gift of dining and want to buy a gift certificate, buy from a restaurant you believe has staying power. And tell your recipient to use it soon.

Remember the time you went out to eat with several companions and your share of the bill turned out to be much more than you expected – or thought was fair?

Even if you’ve forgotten whether the amount was $15 or $50, you’re still irked by the principle of the thing, despite how petty and irrational you know it sounds.

The split-check shafting I most remember was with a dozen people from a night class I was taking, so none of us knew each other very well. One guy ordered three bottles of wine “for the table” and then decided we should split the total bill equally – never mind that some of us didn’t have his wine because we had paid for our own before he arrived.

And then there was the night with nine neighbors at an upscale restaurant. One of my friends had only salad and coffee, while the rest of us had full meals and drinks, but the self-appointed host declared, “Oh, let’s just split the bill.”

That left my friend with two choices: Pay about $30 more than her fair share, or object and look cheap. I can’t remember how it turned out, but I do remember how awkward it was.

The truth is, poorly handled check-splitting is the acid reflux of social dining. It can leave such a bad taste in someone’s mouth that it ruins the memory of good food and company.

It’s an especially sensitive issue in this economy, when people ordering a salad may be watching their budget rather than their weight.

The best solution is separate checks, but some restaurants don’t permit it because it ties up too much of the server’s time.

While she’s busy figuring out who got what and juggling six credit cards for one table, her other guests are getting restless. Computerized ordering systems can streamline the process, but not every place has them.

If you do want separate checks, request them before everyone orders – not at the end of the meal when the whole bill would have to be dismantled and reassembled.

If separate checks aren’t available, splitting the bill evenly is fine if everyone really does owe about the same thing – or if you’re with friends who always do it that way and figure it all comes out evenly in the end.

The other option is to pass the check around and let everyone figure his own bill. Remember to add in state sales tax, which people often forget, and a 20 percent tip – a nice amount for good service for a larger group.

The point is, we dine together not only for food but for companionship. And no one should ever go home feeling they paid too much for the privilege.

(Contact Sylvia Rector at 313-222-5026 or srector(at)freepress.com)

Forget wine charms. These fun swizzle sticks work just as well to keep drinks separate, and have the added bonus of also working as a stirrer, and as an alternative to using a Sharpie on the ubiquitous red Solo party cup (OK, and it works just as well to ID a classier, but no less banal, stemless wine glass).

Found at Wrapables.com, the 8-inch acrylic Happy Hour Swizzle Sticks are topped with 3-D bar-related items, like a cocktail shaker, pitcher, champagne bucket, bottle of alcohol, and assorted glasses filled with yummy-looking “beverages.”

Get 10 stirrers for $14.95.

Party Picks is a monthly collection of fun stuff to make your celebrations sparkle.